Friday, February 12, 2010

5 Signs Your Girlfriend Is A Psycho


It’s often difficult to gauge how crazy your girlfriend is, especially in the beginning of a relationship. The truth is, all chicks are nuts but here are five ways to know if she’s average crazy – or if you should sleep with one eye open and hide all the sharp objects in the house.

5. She Has More Than 3 Cats.

Face it. You’re dating the crazy cat lady. You know why all crazy cat ladies wind up living alone by the end of their lives? All of their ex-boyfriends are buried in the backyard.

4. She Keeps Tabs on You.

If your girlfriend is too clingy and texts and calls you non-stop, stalks you on Facebook, and e-mails you creepy love messages, it’s time to move to Montana. This is the girl that burns an effigy on your lawn if she finds out you lied to her about what you had for breakfast.

3. She Asks If You Will Ever Leave Her?

Any girl who does this before you’re married, or even after, is silently calculating the jail time she will have to do after running you down with a Jetta, if you leave her for someone else.

2. She is Way Too Jealous.

If she’s ready to throw down with any woman you talk to, even the girl behind the counter at Starbucks, start working on that restraining order now.

1. She Recites Bible Quotes.

If she quotes John 3:16 when you ask her about her day, prepare for a lifetime of watching Mel Gibson films, protesting outside of free clinics, and attending Sarah Palin fundraisers.

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